Thursday, 1 December 2011

Definitely Not Addicted To Skyrim

Impressed by their big budget film trailer-esque adverts, last week I went out and brought a copy of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for Playstation 3.

Well that's not quite true actually, for even if the advert had been a man pretending to slightly part the sky before proceeding to vigorously lick the imaginary crack he had created (hence sky-rimming), I still would have gone out and brought that game for sure. In mildly ashamed honesty, I will confess to the possession of odd thirsts that cannot be addressed by anything we have in this world, to thirsts which are instead quenched only by dragon's blood, levelling up, and 100 or more hours of talking to medieval villagers.

Only one search of Skyrim in google will reveal that it is creating more addicts than cocaine could ever hope to. After a little reading myself,  I found my favourite story of Skyrim Addiction (link at bottom), which describes a woman who loses her boyfriend to the game. In seemingly counter intuitive fashion she decides to attempt a rescue by providing him with pizzas and other oral pleasures, the whole while with him remaining glued to his computer screen. Sometimes it is in such counter intuitive methods that humanity's greatest success stories lie; their genius lying in the originality of thought. However here I'm sure she probably didn't aid her cause particularly, and it will only be a matter of time before the boyfriend is called upon to slay another dragon, and another of her 'services' is called upon to relieve the nerves such battles tend to create.

On the other hand, I am not addicted to Skyrim and don't get the fuss. Definitely. Well perhaps a little addicted, though it's hard to tell as I'm still wearing my ring of minor denial. Sure, I play it from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. At 5am. But is that an addiction? The definition of addiction is 'a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behaviour or substance', I can put skyrim down at any time I want, but that's not an issue as I never want to. More importantly, the truth is just that Skyrim is my favourite option for my free time at the moment... If I weren't playing skyrim, I simply would be wasting my time some other way, you know like by watching television, or youtube, or returning people's calls, or meeting real people, or eating, or drinking water... and basically all those other kinds of ridiculous things that society tells us 'we're supposed to do'.

Well I live in a new society now friends, and I'm pretty bloody wealthy and am the leader of the thieves guild. And if having all of that is called being 'addicted', well then mister, I guess you can just go ahead and call me it.


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